LCSW, MSW, M.Ed., JD.
You are caring for your children and one or both of your parents, grandparents, or other older relatives. You are pulled
in many directions trying to meet everyone’s needs. You often put yourself and your needs last. You may feel guilt over not
being able to “do it all.” You are tired and question just how much more you can take on. You want some peace and time for yourself.
The
fact that people are living longer and children are remaining dependant beyond their high school years creates a "sandwich" effect
for the generation in the middle. On one side is the love, committment, and responsibility you feel for your parents or other
aging adults; on the other is your children, grandchildren or other younger people who depend on you. We embrace both roles,
and do it all with a love that is beyond a sense of duty. That being said, it is also exhausting for you to be depended upon so heavily.
You
don't have to exhaust yourself. You first need to know and accept that you cannot possibly do it all, for everyone, all the
time. To be healthy for yourself and others you need to find ways to care for yourself. This is not being selfish, this is key
to your emotional balance. When you get on an airplane the stewardess tells you that if you the air bag drops down and you have
a small child with you, that you should put the mask on yourself first. Why? If you don't get enough air, you will not
be able to help your child get air.
Caring for yourself in the "sandwich" context uses the same principle. If you
give it all away to others, you not only have nothing left for yourself, but you will ultimately not have anything left to give to
the people who rely on you. You must keep something back for yourself in order to keep giving and to keep going.
If you
feel that counseling could help you with this situation, please
Contact Me by phone or email.
