1. Help your child develop a positive self-image. Help him put any social, peer, educational, or other difficulties in perspective.
2.
Teach your child that a successful and contented life comes in many forms: having good friends, positive family relationships,
the ability to receive and give love, self-approval, job satisfaction, spiritual, emotional, and physical health, financial stability,
social contentment, and an overall sense of significance and place in one's life. Emphasize that difficulties in one or more
area of his life do not define who he is as a person.
3. Find an understanding for yourselves, to separate who your child
is from what he does. Good children can act out in challenging ways. See him as a whole person.
4. Parents should
learn to react to inappropriate behavior immediately, to tell him what was wrong about a given behavior, and to suggest an alternative.
5.
Parents should be honest in expressing their feelings to role model how to display appropriate expression of emotions.
6.
Teach your child how to shake hands appropriately and maintain eye contact when possible. Teach them how to listen respectfully
and wait until someone has finished speaking. Encourage frequent conversation to help them learn how to make small talk and
hold a conversation.
7. Teach your child to have self-confidence in their beliefs and to articulate and defend them.
Some children will accept someone else's idea, which may have questionable value, rather than act on their own belief system. With
improved confidence and self esteem they will be less likely to be manipulated by others.
8. Involve your child in decision
making. Whether it is a choice for dinner preparation, what route to take for a bike ride. Decision making is a critical
thinking skill that will help him when it’s time to make bigger choices.
9. Teach time management skills by being organized.
Your child will learn by example and be able to borrow those skills for himself. Make checklists for him to be able to check
off accomplished tasks and tangibly see his progress. Build in small rewards for each item and larger ones for finishing his
tasks. Make the rewards meaningful for the specific child.
10. Normalize your language: use the same words to describe
the behaviors and attributes of everyone in the family. Use the words strengths, weakness, special skills with equality in your
home.
11. Organize time to allow for all members of the family’s needs to be met. Arrange for transportation to /from appointments,
after school pick ups, time for homework, family centered events, etc.
12. Identify responsibilities of each family member.
It doesn’t always have to be a parent that oversees homework, transportation, etc. Don’t be afraid to ask and expect others
in the family or other caregivers to help.
13. Maintain family dinners whenever possible. Everyone can share time about
their day’s experiences.
14. Parents should support each other. If one parent has established a rule, reward, or consequence
the other parent should support and enforce what has been said. Parents should never allow their child to come between them
and their resolve to make decisions and support each other. Disagreements should only be aired out of earshot of the child.
15.
If you establish a rule- stick to it yourself. It is destructive to the process of being consistent and predictable, and your
goals for your child if you violate them yourself. Inconsistency is confusing and only fosters the belief that rules are negotiable.
16.
Work hard at maintaining relationships with your spouse or significant other and any other children in the home. Marriages don’t
have to get stressed over the needs of children. Establish a “date night” every two weeks and avoid talking about the family’s
issues. If communication is kept open and time is set aside for each relationship in the household, both the marriage and parent/child
relationships can actually get stronger.
17. Involve yourself and your child in volunteer activities such as a nursing home,
pet shelter, soup kitchen, or with a community activity. These activities build self esteem and foster social skills.
18.
Find some activities your child can do well, ideally, something better than anyone else in the family- something that sets him apart
in a positive way. Always take into consideration his personality and be willing to veer away from what you think he should
be interested in or what his peers are involved in. Your son or daughter may find their calling in a canoe, or hiking, playing
the bagpipes, doing needlepoint, cooking, working with horses, kite flying or fishing. Be active in this pursuit and “listen”
using all you know about your child to help him find a niche, something he can become passionate about. Then let him teach you
all he has learned.
